For the Recovering Rescuer

Dear twenty-year-old me,

Oh how I want to shake you and rattle you,

wake you up // You're too influenced by others

Speak up!

Why would I say what I really think if it'll just be squashed?

You see, for twelve years I had to ask permission to speak.

Cubicles and flags and star charts and memory verses and uniforms and children's minds silently 

buzzing

questioning

swirling.

Just figure out the right answer

The one that will cause the least amount of disruption.

Put on your pretty face and straighten that cross-bow tie and don't forget to mind your elders.

Anyway when I met her that freshman year on that college campus, 

I want to put my arm around you and protect you.

I want to whisper to you that you don't need to rescue to be seen.

You see, I was addicted to following the rules and being the good one,

I listened and listened and listened.

I ate and ate and ate until I couldn't any more.

You mean to tell me there's nothing I can do to make Him love me?

(Please let me do something).

I was sick from all the sin-eating.

My body convulsed. (Please listen to your body)

I swam in her turbulent waters of pain and ended up

 needing to be rescued myself.

How do you do it God?

How do you do it Three-In-One?

Always emptying Yourself for the sake of others.

They reached in and pulled me to the shore.

Come inland for awhile, abide. And the Three-In-One

 gave me rest.

But what about her?

I was drowning, now I see.

They pulled us both out.

How much more compassion the Three-In-One has! 

How much more They have for me,

                                                                            and how much more They have for her.

And now a poem by David Tensen.

The Burden Bearer - Piece 2

Somewhere

early in life

you discovered

that you had

the capacity

and compassion

to carry

burdens

and blows.

So, all

that came

towards you

from the world

and those in it

that had

nowhere to land,

you absorbed 

and made room for.

You held

it all

in yourself.

All the pain

and promises.

All the chaos 

and care.

All the shame

and secrets.

So, body

and bones

and breath

held the

stories

and the score

for favour

and fear.

Then somewhere

about now

you're done.

Finished storing

burden bearing

and over-caring.

Sick and tired

of saving

and sin-eating.

Let go

and make room,

weary one.

The world

is too big

to carry.

Take stock

vacate spaces

that store troubles.

All yours

and theirs

Let

(Inhale)

It

(Exhale)

All

(Inhale)

Go

(Exhale)