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Well, it's been awhile. Too long since my last post. Not to say nothing has been going on worth blogging about. But lets be honest, I'm not the most avid blogger and I let things like hanging pictures on the wall, seeing my friends and staying up till 2am reading the Hunger Games take priority.

Anyway, lately I've let a certain house project get under my skin. There are these wooden sliding doors that we've been working on to eventually go on a track system that Jay & Ben installed between the family room and kitchen. It's gonna be sweet when it's done.

But it's not done.

You see, I didn't really know what I was getting myself into with these, ahem, doors. They need to be sanded, painted, sanded again, painted again, the holes left from the slats we took out filled w/ filler, sanded again, painted again and eventually lacquered.

Now I am generally a pretty patient person (as most of you know) and it takes a lot for me to really lose my patience. What I'm realizing is that I'm only usually patient when I can trust in the process. Like I know what I'm doing. And I know that each step is worth it. I'm not wasting my time. Or screwing myself over.

Take this and add it to my current living situation. I'm intentionally living with a community of people where we have mutually agreed to try to live as selflessly as possible. We are all followers of Jesus and are trying to obey His words. Like loving our neighbor, loving our enemy and the poor, the outcast, the widows and the fatherless, the immigrant. I believe out neighbor includes all of these people.

But it's so easy to get caught up in the method. Like, "well what does it mean to follow Jesus?" You know what it means? It means you do what you know to do.

Sand.

Help our "economically poor" neighbors fix their fence.

Paint.

Bake bread for our neighbors.

Sand again.

When a fellow believer asks for prayer, don't just pray for them but ask what you can actively do for them.

Paint again.

Don't let people talk/reason me out of loving my neighbor. In most cases, our culture looks at that as charity. But our neighbors are not charity cases. They are equal to us. We are equal to them. I've heard it said that justice is the righting of wrong relationships.

Sand again.

My roommates are also my equals. Let's be honest, pride is constantly lurking around the corner. (well we are constantly at war with it within ourselves). There's a reason why Jesus said to abstain from the desires of our flesh. They're not good for us! I'm I glad that i said that snide remark when it felt good in the moment? No. Do I feel like I'm a better person for indulging in to much food? Um, no.

But the point here is not self deprecation. This hard road of following Jesus, denying myself, is actually a blessing. There is peace in the painting and sanding knowing that someday it will be done. And each step isn't in vain.

Why would I want to do anything else?

All the things Jesus is telling me to let go of and walk away from, those are things that are going to destroy me anyways. If I keep holding on to all of my selfishness, things that bring me pleasure (instead of sharing or letting go and giving them away), I'm going to lose my life.

Jesus says to let go and trust Him.

And I'm pretty sure it's not metaphorical or figurative.

So, in patience and trust I will keep sanding and painting, doing what I know to do. And trust that after I'm done with each step, I'll know what to do next.

And maybe what's next is that they're finally finished and move on to something else.

http://vimeo.com/16407174