To Care and Not to Care

It's hard to pick out the "highlights" of this year, so I thought I'd write an ode to the year. It's all a bit of a blur, but here we all are. Ben and I, Amos (who just turned 5) and Nathanael (who just turned 3). Lindsay, our housemate (who just turned...j/k). At times we make the best of it, other times we don't. And that's ok. For the beauty of the earth, how she groans as if in birth. For the beauty of the skies, sparrows meet our eyes. For the love which from our birth, we are shaken into this groaning earth. For love over and around us lies over and around us lies. Our train of life comes to an abrupt halt, redirect. Where? How? Now? Lord of all to thee we raise this our hymn of joyful praise. Where is this "joy" you speak of? Look for the pain, and there you'll find it. How time has alluded us, tricked us. For the beauty of the hour, of the day and of the night. Time deepens in this moment, in the great generosity of the flower, and th...

December is upon us. For the most part, here in the NW, it's been clear, cold and sunny. A welcome alternative to the soggy rains we usually get. How was your November? Let's see...we had an election, and a Thanksgiving holiday to figure out how to celebrate in a Pandemic.  How hard it can be to find the light in these Shadowlands we live in. How hard it can be to keep myself tethered to Jesus when the shadows dance around me, pulling and shouting, begging me to care, to give a damn. My old, false self is tickled but my new, true self quietly reminds me to remain in the Spirit, bearing it's fruit.  I guess I sort of answered my first reflection question: Where did I see the hand of God moving in the midst of the shadows? (Thank for inspiring me Tsh Oxenreider with your beautiful  Advent book ! You might have seen this image before. It strikes me every time. What strikes me most is it's perspective. It's creator, Everett Patterson writes, " I chose very, very wi...

 It comes in waves doesn't it? There's a loneliness that's risen to the surface in our lives, exacerbated by a cold, wet blanket of a Pandemic that surges on. The tide has gone out. We have no more breathe.  Figuratively and literally, sadly. There's loneliness in Covid. There's loneliness in our small celebrations of life and holidays. There's loneliness in our friendships, as a lot of them drift apart like continents in a vast oceans. We can only maintain so many. There's loneliness in the guilt and shame that whispers in our ear, "You haven't been a very good friend." There's loneliness in the hurt. The parenting, the teaching, the relationships and marriages, the sons and daughters, the childless, the houseless, the sick and dying.  There's loneliness in not knowing how to respond to yet another death. There's loneliness in the grief.  There's loneliness in the accused and the accuser, the oppressed and the oppressor.  This ...

A fifth of November lament The United States stands once again a 'house divided'. Waiting in the balance A high wire  1, 2, 3, 4... Upon arrival to the other side, what will this election have left behind in it's wake? Underneath it's rubble, will we hear the muffled voices? Will arms reach down to lift up? Will arms reach up to receive? Make no mistake, We deserve no parade. The hurt is immense. Our own words have wounded us. Our burdens of the past haunt us, Our anxieties for the future halt us. Our fear of each other will bury us. Is now the time we turn and look each other in the eye? Who will save us from ourselves?  Christ have mercy. *illustration by  Scott Erickson

 Hi! We've made it to November. And for most of us that feels like a feat. For most of us too, it also feels like we're *still* in the middle of whatever this is.  This, 2020... But here we are, at a different place than we were one month ago, one day away from a national election. Deep breaths everyone. I've been inspired by author and podcaster Emily P. Freeman to engage in a little reflection practice before we timidly set foot in yet another month. She says, " Intentional reflection is a way to bare witness to your own life. " And, " One common mistake we make when we have the desire to make good decisions is that we try to peer into the future to discover what it might hold, what the outcomes we want to achieve are, and what roadblocks we wish to avoid. The only problem is that the future hasn't happened yet, so how can it possibly teach us? Instead of looking ahead and guessing about outcomes, there's something to be said for looking back and ga...

 Walter Brueggemann, an Old Testament scholar, has been bringing much depth to my prayer life. He has a book of collected prayers called Awed to Heaven, Rooted in Earth. Here is a prayer he prayed after reading Jeremiah 3:1 - 4:4 on October 23, 2001. I find myself praying this prayer again and again in this age of western deconstruction, racial turmoil, and political religions. Reach Us You in your harshness, dismissing,                                                 judging,                                                  condemning                                         ...